Where Have You Gone?

I’ve been back in New Plymouth for just over 9 years now – the only reason I know how many years it is is because of Hartleigh – honestly if you asked me I’d say 4-5 years at the most – the time as flown! Hart is going to be NINE on Saturday. the last of the single digits for my June 2005 baby.

I thought it might be a good time to do a bit of a review of the past nine years.

I moved home (to Taranaki)

I had a baby

I got divorced

I bought a house

I put on weight (a lot as it turns out)

I sold the house (and lost more money than I can deal)

I lost the weight

I fell in love

I fell out of love

I got a tattoo (after 19 years of deliberation!)

I found some fantastic new friends

I’ve said goodbye to some who should still be here

I fell in love again

I resigned myself to the fact that insomnia is now my friend

 

I still fail at most parts of my life

I have succeeded in places I never thought I would

I know I’m not the person I want to be but I’m going to keep trying to get there because it’s the least I can do for Hart. Protect him from making my mistakes. If only!

 

Blogging – Daily Prompt – SOS

One of my resolutions this year (and last) was to blog more, and I have failed dismally thus far, and in part this is from a lack of good topics to write about – yes I will  be blogging about the my crafts, and weight loss, and (of course) fashion BUT I know y’all will get bored with that real quick so I sought out some topics and found some motivation not too far from home – the WordPress Daily Post Blog! They actually have two options; their 365 days of topics document and their blog which posts up topics everyday – giving two possible topics per day, giving you the option to choose which topic suits you the best.

So today I have chosen the topic from the Daily Blog (dated the 31st of Jan because it’s a US based site).

Daily Prompt: SOS
You’re at the beach, lounging on your towel, when a glistening object at the water’s edge catches your eye. It’s a bottle — and yes, it contains a message. What does it say?

3rd March 1964

My Dearest Estelle

As I lay here, in the home of my daughter, living out my last few days my thoughts drift to you more than ever before. I know this letter with probably never find you, but I wanted to put into words how much you meant to me and how sorry I am that we got separated by war, and time, and distance. 

You were my first love. That special person who keeps a portion of ones heart, no matter how many more people you go on to love. I thought about you often over the years, and made several attempts to locate you but to no avail. My daughter recently told me she’s been secretly trying to trace you ever since my beautiful Loretta left us. You would have liked her, she had a laugh like sunshine, and heart to rival Texas. she knew about you too. She understood that a little piece of me would always belong to you. I was blessed to have had you both in my life.

So as I lay here waiting for the pipes to call me home, I hope youfound happiness too and enjoyed a long and happy life and whether it’s tomorrow or ten years from now, I hope we can meet in the next place and share some memories together.

Yours always

Henry

So there it is. my short, but I hope rather sweet SOS blog post.

Spring Update

We are incredibly a quarter of the way through November, the last month of Spring and so much has been happening I thought I should write a bit of a catch up blog!

Firstly, I was given notice to move out of Camelot, and that put me into a bit of a spin, I didn’t find a new home in time so I’m staying with a friend but will be moving into my new place at the end of the month. Timing was so bad, I had two major events at work and no enough time to look and although we’re now running into the Summer Carnival season at work I’m feeling relaxed about the move because I have plenty of time to get set up. My new home is very close to work, the park, a playground, and ‘town’. Can’t wait to be back in such a central location. Will have to think of a new name for my Foursquare check-ins lol.

Work has been good, Ladies Day was a huge success and I am so happy. It was a real test for me personally and I guess in some way professionally too. I definitely feel more confident about the events I have planned for the Summer Carnival and although there is literally too much work to fit into a day I love it so much it doesn’t matter. My Sunday is going to be spent putting together  sponsorship packages for our next Ladies events in February, but before then it’s the launch of the Summer Carnival, two Christmas At The Races, Family Fun Day with a new format and a junior Fashions On The Field, a charity race day, and another twilight race day! Oh yeah it’s full on, but I love it!

Personally I’ve been in flux, very unsettled, especially moving house, and it’s been reflected in my weight. Although I’ve tried to stay true to clean, the old ‘comfort’ habits come back when I’m stressed like this. Cannot wait to get into my new place and get back into my routine. In the meantime I just have to manage as best I can and try and try to keep control without slipping too far back into the old ways. I did go to see Jason Shon Bennett and have done a little bit of fasting which I hope to really explore and develop during the Summer and into the New Year.

Christmas will be celebrated in our new home, and I am very happy about that, as there was the possibility that we wouldn’t be in until the end of January and I think that would have been a really bad start to the year for me. The new house is big so allthree trees will be put up, but no new theme this year, well…. maybe a few new decorations! (Can’t help myself!).

Looking towards the New Year I haven’t thought too much about resolutions yet although I want to do some personal development courses both personally and professionally. I think it’s important to keep being educated and I always come away from courses like that with a whole new enthusiasm. As for the rest of them I need to moved in and settled before I can make any other firm decisions.

In the short term I’m looking forward to another fabulous Summer filled with all the things I love – friends, family, beach, and beer (lol), long term I’m excited that Hartleigh can walk home from school, he’ll have plenty of space to play and is close to lots of his buddies, that we’ll be settled into a house that we know we won’t have to move from for a long long time.

elephant harts

Motivation Monday – What Works For Me

I haven’t done a Motivation Monday post for a while so I thought I would do one about my motivations. I’ve posted these in MLFC a few times but thought it time to actually write a formal blog about them.

When I first started this WLJ most of my motivation came from the hurt I felt at the party I went to as documents in this blog. and that motivation lasted quite a long time, I also put a picture of one of my girl crushes, Ms Jennifer Love Hewitt, onto my fridge. After a while the hurt wore off as I started to see results, and having the same pic on my fridge soon also stopped having an impact, so I needed something else.

In came in the Vision Board, something I do every at the beginning of every year, but these ones were specific to my weight loss. I set the images as the screen savers and backgrounds on my computers and iPhone. I still have these now, although I haven’t created a new one for a few months. Perhaps I should do one for this last push to goal.

Again, after a while these have less impact than when they are first created so I decided to get into the numbers. I added a whole lot of calculations to the spreadsheet that I record my weight in each day. Basic calculations like; how much I have lost so far, the percentage of my original weight that loss represents, and the percentage I am to my goal weight. It also shows my weight in pounds, and pounds lost. It also calculates my BMI. Each day I put my weight in and all the calculations change to reflect the new weight. Having all of those totals means that I reach mini-milestones along the way and that really helps to keep me going.

I also love visual reminders (hence the vision boards), so I also started using window chalk to write how far to goal I am on my kitchen window, and often something motivational. On the mirror in my bedroom I also have my goal weight, to help my mind accept that that is my weight. I’ve previously written about the episode of The Biggest Loser where they talk about you being at your goal weight and that your body just needs to catch up. This had a real impact on me and I think that was another turning point for me.

This motivator I haven’t done yet, but I did post about it in MLFC last week as I thought it was a great idea. I think I might do it when I get to goal. The idea is based on a similar event during The Biggest Loser but in my version you go to your kitchen, load up your benches with enough food to match how much you’ve lost. take a photo of it, then load it all into grocery bags and carry those bags around your house for ten minutes. My son weighs around 25kgs and I can tell you right now, there’s no way I would want to carry him around for ten minutes, and that’s less than I have lost! Put copies of the pic where you can see them, on the fridge, cupboards, where ever you might be tempted. It’ll serve as a reminder of all the hard work you have already done!

The last thing I recommend is a cheer team. As those from the MLFC group will attest to, that group offers so much love and support, no matter where you are in your journey there’s someone there to offer advice, a shoulder to cry on (albeit virtually), and to acknowledge all your hard work. Those ‘likes’ and comments are recognition that you aren’t doing this alone, having positive supportive people along the way is instrumental in success..

Now, don’t get me wrong, I lose motivation, I make bad food choices, and I want to give up, but at the end of the day I am making progress – it stops and starts, some weeks I feel like it’s completely uphill and I’m never going to get there, and other weeks (like last week) I just feel like I have this nailed, of course I don’t, but each backward step is a lesson, and taking those lessons and applying them going forward makes everything a little bit easier. Having those small motivational triggers helps me to get back into it. So, there you go, if you have been struggling, mix up your motivation, find something different to give you a little push in the right direction.

Keep Going

Friday Reflection

My wee boy was admitted to hospital this week with a skin infection. Fortunately he recovered quickly and actually enjoyed his time in the ward, but that’s not the reason I’m writing this post, it’s because of the memories and feelings that being there brought up.

Amazingly my son was in the same bed in the same room as I was in some 35+ years ago when I went to have some warts (eeww) removed.

In the 70’s parents weren’t allowed to stay the night with their children, like they are now, and I was taken to the hospital by my ‘gran’ – who at the time was actually just my grandad’s girlfriend because my mum was working. Mum came up to see me after work, but I don’t really remember that, what I do remember is once visiting hours were over and the lights went out an overwhelming feeling of homesickness and wanting my mum came over me, so much so that I actually snuck out of my bed, down a set of stairs and intended to walk home because I didn’t want to be there. Fortunately the external door had a security guard and I knew I wouldn’t be able to sneak past him. We lived less than 2km’s from the hospital at the time so physically I could have made the trip but a 7ish year old, in pyjamas, walking along a main road would probably have raise some suspicion had I got past the guard.

This stay in hospital was my first real feeling of being lonely and alone, a rather awful feeling especially at such a young age and something that has travelled with me my whole life, popping it’s oppressive head into my life from time to time to remind me not I’m not so special. Another lifelong distraction has been my noise sensitivities, another reason I didn’t want to stay. Back then I needed complete quiet to go to sleep and a ward full of sick children is not often quiet, these days I need noise from something like a TV to block out the noise in my head.

I’m glad my son enjoyed his time in hospital, I’m even more glad I got to stay with him and make sure he was ok and happy. I’m also pleased that I have been able to recognise and exorcise some of the feelings and memories from my time there.

Day 30 – Thoughts

Share Your Thoughts On Your 30 Day Challenge

This is probably a bit of a silly blog for me since I was one of the two people who created the challenge! However, I have to say that despite the fact that I knew all of the topics before hand, I did find some a big challenging and almost confronting. For me a challenge is meant to push you a little out of your comfort zone, poke and prod you a bit and make you delve a little bit into yourself so in that respect this 30 day blog challenge has done that.

I have much respect for all of the participants, especially those who have generously shared their blogs on the Cue Social Media Facebook page. Special mention must go to Rachel Franke Church for keeping her topics true to her establishment (Hosking House), which at times must have proven a little more difficult than writing as an individual.

I’ve enjoyed the journey and despite having to do a bit of a catch up at the end would be keen to do another.

That being said I am looking forward to getting back to some of the usual topics and a few new ones as well. Additionally I’m super excited to be kicking off the clean eating section of my blog called Skinny Love on the 1st of June.

Thank you everyone who has participating, commented, or liked along the way, especially when some of the topics were late!

Sonya ❤

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